the flexible generalist

Disc Golf Mecca!

2008-06-27T15:21:00.005-05:00

We just got back from a visit to Dad and Trisha's new home in South Carolina. Other than the drive there and back, it was a very relaxing week. We relaxed on the porch, drank good wine, ate good food, played a few rounds of golf. . . . Good times.

A highlight of the trip came when we all went to play a round of disc golf. I searched online (at http://www.pdga.org) for nearby courses. The closest good course was in Appling, Georgia. Off we went. When we got there, we discovered that we had stumbled upon the recently completed PDGA International Disc Golf Center-- the location of the PDGA Hall of Fame! It was cool. We all had fun playing the "Steady" Ed Headrick Memorial Course, named for the father of disc golf. 2500 disc golf courses in the United States, and we accidentally find the Mecca of the sport.

We are the champions!

2008-02-18T16:33:00.005-06:00

Either that or the Bigger Losers! You see, the normal snowfall for this point in the season is 35". We've had about 90". That is the highest total for any YEAR on record. The old record was a mere 76". We'll break 100" by the end of the season. We got about foot of the stuff yesterday. Sigh.

Time for fun with snow. In the picture above (of the back yard of a neighbor), can you count the vehicles? If you said one, you might live in Florida. There are three vehicles in this yard! (Two of them are to the left of the shoveled-out S.U.V.)

I've been lucky. I have a few neighbors with snow blowers, and they've been huge helps with our sidewalk. I paid a neighbor today to get as much of the snow and ice off of the roof as he could. The streets look like white canyons (what with all the snow piled on the sides). Classes at the college were cancelled again today, since the roads had not been cleared yet.

Any way you cut it, this has been a crazy year!

Checking in. . . .

2008-01-21T18:22:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time since I have written an entry. My wife is giving me some friendly grief about that.

We went to Tallahassee for Christmas to visit family. The visit went very well; it was great to see everyone, and the warm weather was nice also.

When we got back, I immediately started teaching a three-week Winter-term class (film studies). The assistant dean in charge of scheduling did not think that I could get the 13 students required for the class to break even; I have 31. I am very good at shameless self promotion. That class wraps up tomorrow. The Spring semester begins next week (though faculty reports tomorrow). My supervisor thinks I'm nuts to not take a break; he's worried that I'll burn out.

This has been a crazy winter. We've had ice-dam roof issues. I had to re-do the kitchen ceiling because of water damage. Now the roof is covered with snow again, so I am worried about a recurrence. Sigh. The joys of home ownership. There's something to be said for renting after all. . . .

Grendel

2007-11-22T09:57:00.000-06:00

Here are a few pictures of Brigheon's new puppy, a small sheltie that we named Grendel (yes, after the demonic monster who battles Beowulf in the ancient Old English epic). We got Grendel from a local sheltie rescue. He's about eleven months old. He's a pretty typical sheltie, barking at odd noises and new objects. He does not, however, bark at cars like Logan. At first, Logan was pretty distrustful-- there was a lot of snarling and baring of teeth. Now, however, they run about and play. It does my heart good to see Logan act like a puppy himself. While Logan will usually curl up in a nearby room, Grendel would rather be at our feet (or, even better, beside us on the sofa). He's a real sweetie.

Youth group retreat

2007-11-12T21:03:00.000-06:00

Well, after a break of about nine years, I have been convinced to start volunteering in youth ministry again. This weekend, we had out first retreat. We had only five kids show up. That's a start, I suppose. Regardless, we had a great time. I hope the kids who did come really talk up the weekend, making the other kids jealous. We had Bible studies. We played Chubby Bunny (a silly game involving trying to talk with a mouthful of marshmallows). The best part was the challenge course at the retreat center. Click on the picture above for a close-up. Boy, my hair has gotten long!

Wisconsin fall colors

2007-10-21T22:56:00.000-05:00

We drove over to Fond du Lac yesterday to visit the Wisconsin Sheltie Rescue. We adopted a beautiful little puppy. He will be delivered in a week or two. We will call him Grendel.

Anyway, we hoped to see some great fall colors. As it turns out , the best leaves were in Baraboo. Here are a few pictures. The close ups are from our own yard. The distance shot is at the college.

Bow before the great and powerful Oz!

2007-10-15T23:58:00.000-05:00

One of my students has formed a facebook group dedicated to being a cult in my honor. He actually uses the word "cult." That's pretty disturbing. . . . Flattering (I guess), but disturbing. Apparently, the "cult" has more than thirty members (most of them my students). Oy. I've never been worshiped before-- not formally, anyway.

Oh, and pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Better living through chemistry

2007-10-07T15:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm not much for the whole holistic medicine field. Many of my friends who are into such things do so at the exclusion of traditional medicine, and I think that is a mistake. I say this to let anyone who finds this entry via a search engine know that I am a skeptic.

That being said, my hips have been hurting every day for months. (Perhaps that's the delayed result of being hit by a car twenty-eight years ago.) Anyway, I did not want to take pain meds for the rest of my life, so I thought I'd try glucosamine this week. The studies that I researched have conflictiong results, but I figured it was worth a try. The effects were almost instantaneous. I have had no hip pain all week. Wow.

The Best of Luck!

2007-08-28T20:21:00.000-05:00

Back in 1995 and 1996, when I lived in Camden Town (North London), there was a man who walked around the Sainsbury's (a grocery store). Every time he saw someone, he would shout "The Best of Luck!" He might have three items in his shopping cart; if you saw him again a few minutes later, he might have nothing in his trolley (or he might have several completely different items). Once, he lost his voice. He just wandered the store looking sad (thought the employees seems gleeful). I saw him and shouted "The Best of Luck!" He beamed. After that, we greeted each other anytime we saw each other (with, of course, "The Best of Luck!").

When my lovely wife and I went to London last month, I heard a man at Camden Lock Market shout "The Best of Luck!" I turned around to find a young man telling a young woman about this local legend. She seemed skeptical. I assured her that the man was real.

I did a bit of research tonight on the 'net, and I have found that he is quite famous in the Camden and Finchley areas. His name seems to be Horace. British comedian Ray Peacock has a nice posting on his blog that mentions Horace. Sadly, he is apparently quite mad and is given to angry and vulgar rants (directed mostly at young thugs who antagonize him by calling him Stanley). One site suggests that Stanley is the name of his deceased brother who died tragically in a fire. There are even some horrible YouTube videos of Horace shouting obscenities. (If anyone wants to see this, search for "bum fight promo. fighting talk"; I will not post the link-- it's too sad.) I found several videos of him shouting obscenities, but none of him smiling and shouting his signature phrase. That's a sad reflection of the rest of us. I found one grainy picture of him online (below).He may be nutters, but I liked him. The best of luck, Horace. God bless.

One last comment-- since I originally posted this blog entry, I've noticed a number of visits from readers who were googling words like "Horace," "Finchley," "Camden," and (or course) "The best of luck!" If you know of Horace or know more information, PLEASE post a comment. Thank you, and may you have the best of luck.

What book am I?

2007-08-14T19:36:00.002-05:00

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff could get you killed.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I rather like the choice (though I dispute the allegation that I sleep "with as many people as I can"). My lovely wife took the quiz and got the same result that I did!

I've been Simpsonized

2007-08-08T09:32:00.000-05:00

In a total (but fun) waste of time, I visited the SimpsonizeMe website. Here is the result!

We are back and I am 40.

2007-07-18T14:56:00.000-05:00

We returned from our trip to England on Monday. My schedule is still a bit wonky.

My paper at the conference went well, and we had a great time. We traipsed all over London, and we took day trips to Canterbury, Stonehenge, Salisbury, Bath, and Oxford. (The picture above is me at Oxford.) I took about 700 pictures. It was good to return to my old haunts.

On another note, I turn 40 today. I suppose I am supposed to be freaked out about it, but I'm not.

Not that anyone would notice, but

2007-07-05T22:06:00.000-05:00

we will be at a literary conference in London for the next week and a half.

yes I said yes I will Yes.

2007-06-16T20:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Bloomsday. I sat at the local bookstore and read aloud (mostly alone) for about two hours this afternoon. (Yes, it was an arranged reading. Ulysses will be read aloud today and tomorrow until it's finished.)

By the way, the title of this post is comprised of the book's seven final words.

FSU wins second national title in a row!

2007-06-11T21:05:00.000-05:00

Longtime readers of this blog (both of you) will remember that I was pumped last year to discover that Florida State University had won the NCAA national championship for track and field. Well, our men did it again. Read all about it here.

Sadly, this year I got NO newspaper coverage. I suppose that I should not be surprised that no one in Wisconsin cares about FSU. I'm excited, for what it's worth. Go Noles!

A guy with a PhD working in a burger joint?

2007-06-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of me working this Wednesday at Culver's Butterburgers and Frozen Custard. My father always made jokes along the line of "If you get a PhD in English, you'll end up working in a fast-food place!"; turns out he was right.

An explanation is in order. Perhaps you remember a few months ago when I reported that a favorite student of mine had been killed in a car accident. I found out ten minutes before class began. I walked into class and broke the news to her classmates. We spent about 45 minutes talking and crying together. I spent the last 30 minutes covering the material that we HAD to cover that day. I felt a bit useless, having wasted most of the class-- I just couldn't imagine that anything I had said had done any good. I got back to my office and had an email from a student in the class (named Missy). She had gone straight to the computer lab, I guess, and sent me a note thanking me for spending time talking about Megan. Missy said that it was nice to realize that she attended a college where the professors really cared. She close by saying that I should let her know if there was any sort of fundraiser for Megan's five-year-old son. An idea was planted.

I am very competitive and good at motivating others. I spearheaded a college fund for Megan's son. (I was fortunate to get a few other folks to do the real work, leaving me to handle cheerleading.) We raised money on campus. We got donations from the community. Pizza Hut donated 20% of their take on their buffet for a day (for anyone who brought in a coupon for the fundraiser); sadly, that only amounted to $148. I guess people can't be bothered to worry about such coupons. Anyway, Culver's generously decided to donate 10% of their take for the whole day last Wednesday-- no coupon necessary! To make it even better, they intentionally chose the last day of the school year for the local schools (one of the busiest days of the year). They asked me to work as a "celebrity employee," which I gladly did. That event raised about $800. I don't have final tally yet, but it looks as if we have raised about $3,500 for the college fund! Not a bad, huh? It certainly won't pay for this kid's college, but it's a good start. More than anything else, perhaps it will instill in him an expectation that college is a possibility for his future.

Anyway, this has taken up much of my time in recent weeks. I am glad that my part in it is finished. I'm tired.

Towel Day!

2007-05-24T19:53:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Towel Day. There will be an observance of Towel Day at the local book store downtown. We will be performing a reading of the original BBC radio script of THHGTTH. Join us! Read! There are many prime parts still up for grabs. (I've already got dibs on Arthur Dent.)

If you can't be there, then just carry a towel all day. After all, a towel "is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have."

I'd have rather been Bogart. . . .

2007-05-23T15:12:00.002-05:00

Your Score: John Wayne

You scored 33% Tough, 23% Roguish, 14% Friendly, and 28% Charming!

You, my friend, are a man's man, the original true grit, one tough talking, swaggering son of a bitch. You're not a bad guy, on the contrary, you're the ultimate good guy, but you're one tough character, rough and tumble, ready for anything. You call the shots and go your own way, and if some screwy dame is willing to accept your terms, that's just fine by you. Otherwise, you'll just hit the open trail and stay true to yourself. You stand up for what you believe and can handle any situation, usually by rushing into the thick of the action. You're not polished and you're not overly warm, but you're a straight shooter and a real stand up guy. Co-stars include Lauren Bacall and Maureen O'Hara, tough broads who can take care of themselves.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the
Classic Dames Test.

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

A good day

2007-05-23T09:58:00.001-05:00

Saturday was the graduation at the small college at which I teach. We only have about 550 students, so there were not very many graduates (and many of those do not participate in the graduation). Thus we probably had fifty or sixty grads marching. The faculty rent full regalia each year; I took the advice of older colleagues, who said that if they had it to do over again, they would purchase their own robes. It was expensive, but it will save me money in the long run. The picture above shows the English professors-- one of which is retired, one is retiring this year, and one retires next year. That means that I will be the associate chair in my third year! Absurd. This will be the last time that the four of us will be gathered together again....

Anyway, it was a great graduation. The weather was beautiful and the ceremony dignified. The best part (for me) was when I discovered that the students of the college had selected me for the "Faculty of the Year" award! Not bad for my first year, eh?

We landed in a good place

2007-05-12T17:22:00.000-05:00

Larry, a good friend and one of my former mentors, asked me if I'd landed in a good place. Yes. Here is a picture of me from a few weeks ago, playing disc golf with my lovely wife. (She's taking the picture.) In the background is the college's library building. We have a full 18-hole disc-golf course on the campus! I played yesterday with the chemistry prof; he won by one stroke. . . er, throw. (He says that he won by two, but that's because he charged me with a silly penalty stroke.) Good times.

OMG!

2007-05-06T19:55:00.000-05:00

A coworker gave me a bag of six morel mushrooms. I had never had (or heard of) morels before moving the Wisconsin. Click for more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morel

I soaked them in salt water for several hours (to kill any critters). Then I sliced them lengthwise and sauteed them in butter. I grilled some sirloin steaks and topped them with feta cheese (and left this on the grill to melt the feta slightly). I roasted some fresh asparagus, drizzled with olive oil and a bit of the Greek seasoning.

The steak and asparagus, though excellent examples of the respective dishes, were nowhere near as amazingly delicious as the morels. The flavor is indescribable. I'll try-- steaklike, but more complex and subtle. . . .

Wow.

Wow.

2007-04-27T22:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure where the "humble" part came from.... I answered all the questions honestly!

2007-04-24T23:42:00.000-05:00

Whenever anyone asked my grandfather what he wanted for any gift, he always gave the same reply:

“A smile and a kind word.”

When I was a child, I thought that was a silly answer.

The older I get, the more that I realize how wise Grandy’s answer was.

On an unrelated note, one of my favorite students was killed yesterday in a car accident. Megan was a bit punk, with a few piercings, a few tattoos, a sarcastic attitude, a sharp mind and wit, and a five-year-old son. Sigh. There is no joy in Mudville today.

Give someone a smile and a kind word today. They might need it, and you might not get another chance.

Old Coots win!

2007-04-21T14:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the Coots vs. Whippersnappers softball game. That's not the actual name, but if I put the real words (which are similar), students may find this blog. Anyway, it's our student/faculty softball game. The faculty always win. Always. If, at the end of the day, the students are in the lead, we invoke "retroactive norming" to make the the score more. . . accurate.

Here I am getting a hit. I only took one at-bat, so I can claim that I am batting 1.000! Not many players can claim that. (Note the FSU cap and the Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars sneakers. Cool, huh?)

I actually made it home! Here I am, having just crossed the plate with my veteran colleague Bill celebrating my run. My shirt is shameless self-promotion of my summer class. If I don't get enough students, I'll have to get a summer job! (My hair is getting long. . . .)

Astoundingly, we won the game (with some rather generous officiating playing a minor role). It was great fun. I have assumed the mantle of Captain Coot. (None of the more seasoned members of the faculty wanted the job.) My main task is trash-talk. I'm good at that. Last year, we had only nine members of faculty and staff who played. This year, we had over twenty. My inaugural outing as Captain was a success!

Good times.

Sheesh!

2007-04-10T08:02:00.000-05:00

And now they are saying that we could get six inches of wet snow over the next twenty-four hours!

Crazy weather

2007-04-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

I suppose it might be sad that the most interesting thing that I have to talk about is the weather, but that's normal when one moves from Florida to Wisconsin (at least for the first year). It was 80 degrees two weeks ago. All the snow melted. I finally understood why e. e. cummings called spring "mud-luscious" and "puddle-wonderful." I did not enjoy the mud like cummings did, but I certainly saw a lot of it! Anyway, now it's cold again. The low this week has been about 18 degrees most nights. Last night, it got down to 16! The high today is 32. It snowed this week! Nothing stuck, and it was just light flurries, but STILL! Crazy.

Snow Oscar, Part II

2007-03-04T20:55:00.000-06:00

My lovely wife was disappointed that I posted such a boring picture of my snow Oscar. She prefers the picture of me "accepting" the award. (If I ever had to give such a speech, it would be tough to get out of my mind the famous example of the importance of the comma before the "and" in a series-- "I'd like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.")

Anyway, it has been a week since the Acadeny Awards, and my snow Oscar is. . . leaning. In fact, I think he is defying gravity! It's a darn good thing that I DID give him a sword! That blade is turning out to be more of a cane. Maybe I should tell people that I have built a snow Dr. Gregory House. . . .

First cold, then snow

2007-03-03T19:51:00.000-06:00

Last month, it got down to around 20 below (twenty-two below at a co-worker's house just south of town); this week, we got slammed with snow. There has been a couple of feet of snow. This would be no big deal, except the plows push what is in the streets to the edge of your property. Thus, we end up with walls like those above. You can see my lovely wife shoveling the snow. She's been great about sharing the work.

The one advantage of all this snow is that I finally got to make my first snowman last Sunday. Nerd that I am, I was not content with the traditional snowman. I made a snow Oscar-- after all, it WAS the day of the Academy Awards. Our friend Bill came over for the Oscars, but he thought I had built a snow King Arthur! He said the sword threw him off. He's a member of the Screen Actors' Guild, and he did not know that the Oscar statue held a sword! I should have painted the whole thing gold....

If you can't go to Mardi Gras....

2007-02-19T17:07:00.000-06:00

then bring Mardi Gras to you! No, it's not the same as being in New Orleans, but we still had fun. A local non-profit hosted a Mardi Gras party this weekend. There was a great band, and the Cajun food was actually excellent (except for the awful hush puppies). My lovely wife and I decided to kick it old school-- as in 17th-century Venetian old school! Had there been a costume contest, we'd have won easily....

Adult Chili Number 5 Rules!

2007-02-09T21:19:00.000-06:00

Tonight was a local charity event to raise money for the local charter school. It was a square dance and chili cook-off. We are good friends with the event's organizer, so I threw my hat in the ring for the chili cook-off. I've always made good chili, if I do say so myself. However, I usually use Carroll Shelby's Chili Kit as a base. I did not feel right about using a mix for a contest, even just as a base; thus, Doc's Down South Chocolate Chili was born. (Yes, I do put a bit of grated unsweetened chocolate in it, much like a Mexican molé sauce.) There were nine entries (I was number 5), and most of them were quite good (especially the seafood chili and the chipotle vegetarian chili). Regardless, my chili won! For my culinary efforts, we get a night in a whirlpool suite at a resort up in the Dells. Woo hoo! Now I can call my concoction Doc's Award-Winning Down South Chocolate Chili....

COLD!

2007-02-03T12:33:00.000-06:00

It's cold here. Right now it's five below zero (Fahrenheit). With gusts of up to 27 mph, that puts the wind chill at about 30 below. Oy. Tonight, the low will be 12 below. The high tomorrow will be four below. Tomorrow night, the low is supposed to be -15! And you know what? We're okay. I walked Logan this morning, and it was fine. I did bundle up pretty well.... As my old carpool buddy Mary said recently, "There is no such this as inclement weather, only inadequate clothing." The picture above is the view from our hallway window.

Woo hoo!

2007-01-27T22:17:00.000-06:00

Well, this week was my first real experience sledding. I went to the local Sears Grand and got the last sled that they had in stock-- a lime-green, 66", plastic toboggan. I talked the student activities director (George, pictured here) into showing me the ropes on the hill behind the college. It was a blast!

It may be sad to try sledding for the first time at 39, but better late than never....

Piled Higher and Deeper

2006-12-28T13:14:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that I was in grad school for five years and I never saw or heard of the comic strip Piled Higher and Deeper. It is written by a former Stanford grad student named Jorge Cham. He brilliantly captures the essence of life in graduate school. I got both of his books for Christmas, and both my lovely wife and I are already finished reading them!

Woo hoo! Go Bulls!

2006-12-23T19:05:00.000-06:00

My beloved University of South Florida Bulls
won their first bowl game ever today!
(I got my PhD at USF in 2004.) The Bulls beat the East Carolina Pirates 24-7 in the inaugural PapaJohns.com Bowl. You can read all about it here or here. The Bulls finish 9-4-- not bad for a team that has only been around for ten years (and only made the jump to Div. I-A in 2001)!

Media hypocrisy

2006-12-17T17:18:00.000-06:00

I'm not making apologies for the racist comments of Michael Richards or Mel Gibson, but why has Rosie O'Donnell gotten a free pass from the media for her racist mocking of Asians? Is it because she can claim that she did not know that her comments were racist? That's no excuse. I had a friend a few years ago who said that she meant nothing by it when she said, "That's mighty white of you." I argued that her lack of evil intent made such comments even more insidious. The phrase clearly implies that white people are more decent than those of other races. Likewise, Rosie's statement that she meant nothing by her offensive routine makes it even more frightening. It seems especially ironic in the wake of her condemnation of Kelly Ripa's supposedly homophobic comments to Clay Aiken. Where's the media outrage? Heck, where's the media coverage? Don't get me wrong-- the comments of Richards and Gibson were certainly more evil; I just think this sort of subtle racism is more dangerous.

Practically beach weather....

2006-12-17T13:24:00.000-06:00

My lovely wife is giving me grief for not blogging enough. It's not like I have an audience of eager fans.... I have a couple of friends in Florida who check in occasionally, and a lot of folks find my blog by searching for phrases like "ftd rant," "banfield boycott," or "single malt."

Anyway, not much is going on here of interest. It's pretty warm here lately, with highs around 40. It's funny that this strikes me as warm. Still, I was hoping for my very first snowy Christmas. Oh, well.

It was rather cold a few weeks ago. The low one morning was 2 degrees, and with gusts of 22 m.p.h. the wind chill made it feel like 27 below! Even the locals agreed that was pretty cold.

The semester is coming to a close, with final exams and a boatload of grading looming. The next week'll be fun....

Snow!

2006-11-10T17:38:00.000-06:00

A wintery day in a small Wisconsin town. I think it's quite pretty, but the other residents seem to disagree. They say that I should wait until "it's so cold that the snow sparkles like diamonds." These are pictures of my lovely wife in front of our lovely home. She thought I was silly to make a tiny snowman.... Hey, I'm a Florida boy. Slushy or not, this snow is both exciting and pretty. We'll see if I think it's pretty in a few months! Luckily, we had no trouble driving in it. I went out and shoveled the sidewalk in the dark after it stopped snowing. I can see how that'll get real old real quick. My back is hating me now, and we only had an inch or two of accumulation! As I was shoveling, the snowplow went by. This is about three weeks early for the snowplows to be out.

How's the weather up there?

2006-11-05T09:45:00.000-06:00

Okay, that's a question that I have heard my whole life (being relatively tall). My answer, as a mean teen, was to expectorate upon the smart-aleck questioner and say, "It's raining." (Okay, I only did that a few times-- at Camp Indian Springs.)

Now it's a question that I am hearing again, having moved from Florida to Wisconsin. It's funny how weather is relative. I'm doing fine with the cold so far. The low the other day was 19 degrees. I wore my new 650-fill goose down parka, and I was actually a bit too warm. My grandmother in Florida called last week and asked about the weather. I said it was cold, and she said, "Oh, it's cold here too! The low tonight is expected to reach 40!" Sheesh. The low this week is in the forties, and forecasters are calling it an Indian Summer!

Anyway, the weather up here is fine. We'll see if I still feel that way in mid-January.

Autumn is here.... Don't blink!

2006-10-10T11:20:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture I took this weekend showing the beautiful fall colors. We are still a few weeks away from the peak, they say. Still, it is supposed to snow Thursday. Boy, autumn does not last long up here!

Paradise Lost....

2006-09-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

I don't think that I emailed about the one bad thing that has happened since we moved here. Thirteen days ago, I was walking our sheltie around the playground of our neighborhood's public school Kindergarten Center. A large dog bolted from out of nowhere and attacked our dog. I screamed for help and two young women came running to get their mangy cur. Since our dog's fur is so thick, it looked as if there was no damage. They clipped the attacking dog to an outside lead. No apology, no query about our dog... I asked, incredulously, "Your dog just attacked mine, and you walk away without an apology? Without seeing if my dog is hurt? One of the women snipped, "Sorry! It was an ACCIDENT." Seeing my face, a man on the porch piped up, "It's my dog. I am very sorry, and it will not happen again. Is your dog going to be OK?" He seemed at least to sense how to deal with the situation. Since there didn't seem to be any injury, it was left at "no harm, no foul." Four hours later, I found blood on the kitchen floor. Then I searched through the thick fur and found a half-inch gash that was pretty deep. We called the vet, and the vet said to just keep pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, put antibiotic ointment on the wound, and make an appointment for the morning unless we couldn't stop the bleeding. My lovely wife took our dog to the vet the following morning. When they had to shave off the matted bloody hair to find the wounds, she broke down in tears. Seeing the ugly, deep gashes was just too much to take. There were two strong, wide gouges that were big, but not as deep as the other. The one on the lower right was gaping. (The vet said that when she cleaned it out to flush it out, her probe went in 3.5 inches into the wound -- ouch.) There was one other, less violent, scratch. We did file a police report, and the police WERE supposed to stop by to let us know the outcome of their interview with the owners of the attack dog. They did not. I have formally requested a copy of the police report, but have not gotten it yet. If the officer failed to file the report, heads will roll. I suppose we will pursue the owner for the cost of the vet bills (which are mounting fast). All in all, our dog was left with less hair, bruised, gashed, and hopefully pleasantly groggy on the pain meds they gave him. He's healing well and seems happy.

The benefits jungle

2006-08-23T14:19:00.000-05:00

This week there was a teleconference for new employees to help us figure out our benefits choices-- life insurance, health coverage, death and dismemberment(!), dental, annuities, etc. It was overwhelming. When the guy leading the session was talking, I was scrambling to find the form to which he was referring. I felt a bit like Arlo Guthrie must have felt in the draft office (from his song/monologue "Alice's Restaurant")-- "Kids, this- piece- of- paper's- got- 47- words- 37- sentences- 58- words- we- wanna- know- details- of- the- crime- time- of- the- crime- and- any- other- kind- of- thing- you- gotta- say- pertaining- to- and- about- the- crime- I- want- to- know- arresting- officer's- name- and- any- other- kind- of- thing- you- gotta- say", and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there." Oy. I'll just do my best, but this is ridiculous. On the other hand, it's good to HAVE benefits....

Still alive....

2006-08-13T13:37:00.000-05:00

Things have cooled off nicely here in the soon-to-be frozen tundra. We've been so busy that I've not had time for blogging.

We got a new fridge, oven/range, washer and dryer, dining room table, dining room chandelier, and sofas. We just had a new roof put on. (Most of the roof is metal and just needed sealing.) We are going to have a gas stove (that looks like a wood-burning stove) installed. It'll be asthetically pleasing and will help with warming in the winter months. That'll about do it for our redocorating money.... We still have some painting to do, but that's not that expensive (if we do it ourselves).

We've made so many friends here. The people are so friendly. I hope that a few of them become REAL friends.

Home at last....

2006-07-28T23:14:00.000-05:00

Apologies to friends who have read this already (via email).

All is well here in Smallwisconsonville. We've been here a week now. It's been hot (highs in the 90s). We bought a window unit A.C. for the bedroom. The hot temps should break Wednesday.

We are still wading through boxes. The downstairs is just about set up.

The people here are absurdly nice. One neighbor (an old lady!) mowed my lawn and gave me a Weber charcoal grill. Another neighbor gave me a contractor-grade cordless drill. Another neighbor brought us flowers to welcome us to the neighborhood. Another neighbor brought us a pizza from Papa Murphy's "We Make, You Bake" Pizzas.

Tuesday, we went to Culver's Butter Burgers & Frozen Custard for a fundraiser for music and arts programs in the local schools. Bridget met some important people in the local arts scene and already has the inside track on a great job (assistant band director).

Last evening, we went to the town square (an eight minute walk or so) and sat in lawn chairs with hundreds of other townsfolk and listened to a polka band play. They have different concerts every Thursday evening during the summer. The Boy Scouts handed out little American flags, the local elementary school had a bake sale, the senior citizen council sold cold beverages and pizza by the slice, and there was an ice cream truck. In short, it seemed like a Norman Rockwell painting. I did not even know that there were towns like this any more....

Life is good.

2006-07-11T07:43:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of me and my lovely wife in Ronda, Spain, with the famed Puente Nuevo behind us. We hiked down into that gorge three times, the views there were so beautiful! In For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hemingway says that priests who supported the fascists were thrown off of the bridge into the gorge by angry townsfolk.

Home again... for the moment

2006-07-10T13:34:00.000-05:00

Just a brief note to say that we are home from our wanderings about the Iberian Peninsula. The conference was great. My paper went well. Our post-conference travels were wonderful. I even saw a bullfight (which, as a Hemingway scholar, I sort of felt was a responsibility to do once). More later.

I promised myself that I wouldn't cry....

2006-06-22T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today was my last day at Absurdly Large University. It was surreal. I have been teaching there (first as a T.A. and then as faculty) since 1999. That's longer than any other job that I've held. I'm going to miss that place....

Spain, here we come!

2006-06-18T21:39:00.000-05:00

The Hemingway conference in Spain begins in a week. Today, I finally finished my paper for the conference. Yes, that's cutting it close. It's hard to generate the sense of urgency until, well, until there's a real sense of urgency! I wish I could be more disciplined. Regardless, I am pleased with my paper. The fact that I am finished means that I can truly dedicate this week to final exams. I was having nightmares that Friday evening would be a mad rush to write my paper and finish grading exams.... Woo hoo!

No longer homeless!

2006-06-14T16:38:00.000-05:00

We closed on the Wisconsin house Monday. I was not very impressed with Bank of America and would probably not use them again. Regardless, it all worked out. We took out a warranty on the house for only $395, which seems like a pretty good deal to cover a 90-year old house. Insurance is also cheaper up there. We can't wait to get up there and begin setting up house.

FSU wins national championship!

2006-06-11T11:47:00.000-05:00

It's true, though it only made the back pages of my local paper's sports section. The Tallahassee Democrat gave it a more prominent placement. Winning the track and field championship may not carry the same bragging rights as football or basketball, but it's still pretty cool. Go Noles!

Midwest noir?

2006-06-10T17:19:00.000-05:00

We just got home from seeing A Prairie Home Companion. We liked it very much. I'd give it an A-. Overall, Altman caught the spirit of the show. It really felt that we were watching the radio show being taped and even had backstage passes!

*** MILD SPOILER ALERT ***

I had a few complaints. They needed to sing the Powdermilk Biscuit song, and GK needed to give a "news from Lake Wobegon" monologue. I'm not sure how I feel about Guy Noir being reduced to a bumbling idiot... but what a femme fatale!

Robert Altman directed the bizarre adaptation of The Long Goodbye back in 1973.

My evil twin

2006-06-02T17:32:00.000-05:00

Got a call from Happy (our realtor) this week.... He said there was a problem with the title company. It seems that when the title company ran my name, I came up as a deadbeat dad! I assured Happy that I had no children and gave him my birthdate so that the title company could distinguish me from the scumbag who shares my name. Grrr.

I've googled my own name before, and I know who the others are. I wonder if the scumbag is the respected jazz musician in the Pacific Northwest, or the foosball player in Alaska (who is also obsessed with home theater and audio), or if there's another person who shares the name....

Long live the king!

2006-06-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, perhaps calling him royalty is a bit much, but I want to brag about my beloved sheltie, Logan. My apartment complex is celebrating "Pet Month." They don't do much that's good, but this is. They are waiving the pet fee if a tenant adopts a pet from the Humane Society. Pretty cool. Anyway, they also announced a "Cutest Pet contest. Tenants were to post a picture of their pets in the apartment office. Votes were taken, and Logan has been crowned the winner! Now I can refer to my "award-winning Shetland Sheepdog." Besides, he got a bag of goodies-- dog toys, dog treats, a book about dogs, a pack of bags for when I walk him, and (best of all) a $25 gift card for PETCO!

The trials of FTD.com

2006-05-31T13:09:00.000-05:00

Another consumer rant:

Earlier in the month, I ordered flowers for my lovely wife. She had never gotten flowers delivered to her place of employment, and the school year was almost over. I went to FTD.com and ordered a really fancy arrangement-- 18 pink roses in a Waterford crystal vase. When it came, I was quite displeased to discover that it was NOT an arrangement. It was a box of roses (which were rather bruised) with the vase in a box. I did not expect to spend that kind of money for a "do it yourself" kit! To make matters worse, the flowers were drooping after three days. FTD's guarantee says that floweres will be fresh for seven days, so I lodged a complaint. I got a very nice email of apology. Sheesh. I wrote back and pointed out that their guarantee states that I will get a refund or replacement. The Waterford vase is lovely, so I made it clear that the flowers were what was at issue. FTD emailed me this morning to tell me that they would deliver fresh flowers to Brigheon's place of employment tomorrow. Wake up, FTD! It's a SCHOOL! They are on summer break! I called and arranged for the delivery to come to my home. In the future, I will ALWAYS deal with a local florist (rather than a national chain or on-line florist).

A boycott of one....

2006-05-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

One of the benefits of blogs is that they give a global forum to dissatisfied customers. People doing searches for particular companies can find out what the experiences of others have been. Thus, below I have copied a letter that I just sent to Banfield Pet Hospitals (located in PetSmart stores).

To whom it may concern:

I know that when a dissatisfied customer just disappears, it accomplishes nothing for the improvement of the company. Thus, I want to express my discontent.

When I began coming to Banfield, I had been getting my pet medications from 1800petmeds.com. I had a month or two of his meds left from that provider. When I was nearly out of my dog Logan's heartworm meds, I attempted to reorder from 1800petmeds.com. I was told that Banfield refused to provide the necessary approval, even though my dog was up to date on all vaccines and examinations. This is insulting. I assume that the only reason for this is so that Banfield can get my money. You have removed my freedom to choose the supplier of my pet's medications.

Today, I took my dog for his annual boosters and to get heartworm meds. I was kept waiting in the exam room for twenty minutes, even though I had an appointment. I was then told that Logan was not up to date on his heartworm meds, so I would have to pay for a heartworm test. I assured the young woman that he was indeed current on his meds; I had previously gotten his meds before they were absolutely needed. She said that there was nothing that could be done. I was stuck.

It seems to me that Banfield is calling me either a fool or a liar. I will not be insulted again. I am done doing business with Banfield. I will find a veterinarian who treats me with more respect.

Logan's true hang-up

2006-05-23T07:59:00.000-05:00

Our dog Logan (a freakishly large sheltie) has always had issues. He barks like mad at anything with a running motor and anything with moving wheels. Cars, hair dryers, kids on rollerskates, coffee grinders, bicycles-- you name it! My lovely wife says that she thinks this goes deeper than normal Shetland sheepdog neurosis-- she says that Logan is a Luddite! I found her diagnosis to be one of the funniest things that I'd heard in a while. Besides, it shows that I married a smart cookie.

Go Noles!

2006-05-15T14:29:00.000-05:00

Florida State University's football ranking have been less than impressive of late, but there was some good news this week. According to a press release from the FSU athletic department:

"Seminoles No. 4 In USA Today's Re-Ranked Football APR Top 25 " May 10, 2006

"USA Today ran a graphic that presented a combination of academic and athletic success of the football programs at ACC member institutions. The newspaper took the final USA Today/Coaches Top 25 poll and re-ordered it using the recently released NCAA Academic Progress Rate (APR).

"The re-organized poll has five ACC teams among the Top 15, including the "academic" No. 1 Boston College with a 982 APR score and Florida State at No. 4 with a 959 score. Miami ranked sixth at 956, Clemson 12th with a 940 and Virginia Tech 14th at 935.

"The Academic Progress Rate (APR) metric was developed by the NCAA in 2004 to examine academic success on a more real-time basis. One point is awarded each term to each scholarship student-athlete who meets academic-eligibility standards and an additional point is awarded if they remain with the institution. A team's APR is the total points earned by the team at a given time divided by the total points possible. A cutoff score of 925 corresponds to an anticipated graduation-rate of about 50%."

My wife's alma mater (Notre Dame) is number 10. The University of Wisconsin is number 25.

For the full rankings, click here.

Success!

2006-05-12T03:00:00.000-05:00

I just got back from Wisconsin, and I loved the house. My wife and I will accept the counter offer. There's a lot to be done (painting walls that currently have odd color choices, replacing the hideous carpeting in the master bedroom, etc.), but we will have fun making it our own.

Success?

2006-05-09T15:05:00.000-05:00

Well, the seller counter-offered. She wanted $2000 more and wanted to keep the porch swing! Sheesh. Anyway, I am flying up tomorrow to check it out the house. The nice thing is that the house is now ours to accept or refuse. If I like it, I will post pictures in a few days....

The waiting is the hardest part....

2006-05-08T18:36:00.000-05:00

Just an update-- we made an offer on a house, with a contingency that I have three days to withdraw the offer if I don't like the house. If the seller accepts or counteroffers, I will fly up to Wisconsin this week to give the final approval. The waiting is killing me. Really, the seller has nothing to lose by accepting or countering. After all, is it really likely that she'd get another offer before the weekend?

Plugging along....

2006-05-06T18:02:00.000-05:00

I have spent the past week grading finals furiously. I finally came up with a final that evaluates the students' effort in the class but does not take me ages to grade.

Our realtor is Wisconsin called, saying that he thinks he has found a good house for us. We are going to try to make an offer, contingent upon my seeing it. Thus, I may be flying up to Wisconsin this week. That's not how I planned to spend the week between semesters.... When am I going to write my Hemingway paper for the conference in Spain? Oy.

Oh, well....

2006-04-30T23:35:00.000-05:00

For the sake of those who follow this blog (especially those who actually know me), we did not get the house mentioned a few days ago. We are heartbroken. I want to believe that it is because there is a better house for us out there.... Spare the sympathy. I know it's sincere and well meant, but I don't want to talk (or even think) about it.

The people united....

2006-04-30T14:20:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow is the much-anticipated protest of illegal aliens. The media is leading us to believe that this will be huge, that our nation will grind to a halt. However, some pundits are suggesting that turnout will be lower than expected because of rumors of INS sweeps.

I support the plight of immigrants, though I am of (at least) two minds about giving citizenship to people who broke the law in entering. I DO think that it should be much easier for honest folks to enter. It does not seem fair to those who have been waiting for years to come to the U.S. to grant amnesty to those who broke the law. There are no easy answers here....

I would, if I could get a message to those who will protest tomorrow, plead with the protesters to fly only the U.S. flag (or at least ALSO fly the U.S. flag). I fear that this entire protest will backfire....

For the record, I am not offended that there is a Spanish-language version of the National Anthem; I am glad that there is pride in America among the Hispanic community.

I am sure that I have said things here that will anger liberals AND conservatives. I kind of think that anytime I tick off both extremes, I'm probably on stable ground.

New Orleans Jazz Fest

2006-04-28T18:11:00.000-05:00

This weekend is beginning of the New Orleans Jazz Fest. It's good to see that the Crescent City is still rolling, and that the effort to carry on continues. Anyway, I want to put in a plug for my friend Philip Booth's journalistic blog covering the Jazz Fest for the Sarasota Herald Tribune. Philip is an accomplished and talented jazz musician himself (as well as being a fine journalist). Besides all that, he's a heck of a nice guy (and my former office mate). Anyway, to read Philip's Jazz Fest blog, click on the link below:

http://www.heraldtribune.com/twentyfour7

By the way, the picture is from a postcard that Brigheon received today from Tulane University (recruiting her for their MBA program).

Be vewy quiet.... We're hunting houses...

2006-04-28T13:29:00.000-05:00

Just an update. As I said the the previous entry, we went to Wisconsin this last weekend to house hunt. It was a disappointing trip, in that we did not find a home. The two that we found turned out to already have buyers.

Anyway, the better house of those two had a buyer with a contract contingent upon the buyer selling his current home. He has not done so, and the sellers are getting worried. Their new home is ready, and they are afraid that they will be stuck with two homes.

We made an offer on the house (pictured above). It's a 1915 American four-square in great condition. The owners counter-offered (quibbling over wording, not price). We accepted their counter-offer today. Now the deal goes to the primary buyer. He has four business days to put up or shut up. The question is, can he get a bridge loan? Can he afford two mortgages? We are hoping not.... Sorry if that seems Machiavellian, but all's fair in love, war, and house-hunting!

We should know if we got the house by next Thursday or so. Yes, we may be setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we also feel like this is a great house and that we should go for it. If you are so inclined, say a prayer or two for us over the next few days.

unhappy hunting....

2006-04-23T21:12:00.000-05:00

Well, we just got back from house-hunting in Wisconsin. We did not find a house. :( Actually, we found two, but when we went to make offers, we found out that the sellers had just that week accepted an offer.... The listings, of course, had not been updated yet. It felt like losing a football game in the closing seconds because of a missed field goal. Oh, well. We get to go into overtime. The worst-case scenario is that we'd have to rent initially.... Still, we have a few months to continue looking. our realtor, Gaylord "Happy" Nelson, said that he now understands very well exactly what we are looking for, and he'll keep looking.

It was kind of surreal to be house hunting with Gaylord Nelson Jr. on Earth Day.... (Google "Gaylord Nelson" and you'll understand.)

We did get to learn very well what the best areas of town are. It truly is a beautiful and charming town.

We also had dinner with a future colleague and his wife. We had a great time with them. Though they are a bit older, we really connected with them. At the end of the evening, the wife exclaimed, "I don't want you to get out of the car! I'm not ready for the evening to end! I feel like we've known you two forever!" Good times....

Grrr....

2006-04-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

Brigheon and I were watching the Master's last week. I just have one thing to say-- ANYONE who yells "Get in the HOLE!" after a putt will, if there is any justice in the universe, spend eternity in a special ring of hell. The same is true for anyone who shouts after Tiger Woods (or anyone else) "You da man!" Just goes to show-- average I.Q.-- 100.... Sigh.

marriage is like a lifeboat

2006-04-12T14:44:00.000-05:00

Garrison Keillor had an interesting and amusing commentary in today's paper (available here). In it, he draws an astute simile: "The rules for marriage are the same as for a lifeboat. No sudden moves, don't crowd the other person, and keep all disastrous thoughts to yourself." I'd add that it's best if you are with someone with whom you are happy spooning....

Crime seekers

2006-04-10T10:40:00.000-05:00

I see that there was a visitor to this site from someone searching for the words: mystery, readers, blog. Sadly, the posting this person read was about an unknown visitor to this site, not recommendations for would be readers of mysteries. Since the URL for this site is a reference to detective fiction, I suppose I should have a post about my preferences.

I've not read much in the way of recent mystery authors. I started with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's tales of Sherlock Holmes. Good fun. I went on to read Agatha Christie.

My life was changed (literally) when I was introduced to Raymond Chandler (who wrote seven novels about his hero, Philip Marlowe). I went to grad school (for my M.A.) in England, where they consider Chandler to be an important American author (on par with Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Steinbeck, etc.). I think that The Big Sleep is the best place to start, though I consider The Long Goodbye to be Chandler's best. I also recommend The Lady in the Lake and Farewell, My Lovely.

After Chandler, I read the works of Dashiell Hammett. I recommend The Maltese Falcon, Red Harvest, and The Glass Key. The Thin Man is also good fun.

Next, I completed the hard-boiled triumvirate by reading James M. Cain. Read Double Indemnity and The Postman Always Rings Twice. Cain differs from Chandler and Hammett by writing from the perspective of the criminal (rather than the detective). Good fun, though it makes me feel . . . dirty. It is said that Albert Camus based his great novel L'Étranger upon Postman.

If one feels the need to read more roman noir, then read Ross Macdonald.

I'm too old for this....

2006-04-09T10:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we spent the day volunteering with the local Notre Dame alumni group, cleaning and painting at the Kimberly Home Pregnancy Center in Clearwater. This seems like the kind of charity that everyone can support. I mean, even if one is vociferously pro-choice, what's wrong with helping scared young girls who don't want to have an abortion? Anyway, I commandeered the pressure washer and spent three hours cleaning every exterior surface I could find. Oy, I hurt today. Still, I feel good for what we accomplished. I wish that we had taken some before-and-after pictures. It was a world of difference.

Who'd a thunk?

2006-04-06T19:57:00.000-05:00

I remember last year seeing advertisements for NBC's My Name Is Earl. I turned to my lovely wife and said, "We won't be watching that show!" She agreed. It reeked of redneck, like a narrative Blue Collar TV.

Well, we did watch an episode. And another. And you know what? It's the best new sit-com on television. It has great characters. It has good writing. It has heart. And Nadine Velazquez (Catalina) is damn cute (but nothing, of course, compared to my lovely wife). Jaime Pressly (Joy) is over-rated....

Insulting....

2006-04-05T09:29:00.000-05:00

By this point, I assume that everyone knows the story of Cynthia McKinney's scuffle with Capitol police last week. Hardly a capital crime (pun acknowledged but not intended), but still embarrassing. What bothers me is the way she is defending herself since. Did anyone see her press conference, complete with appearances by Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover? Her interview with Wolf Blitzer? She is making her punching (or "stabbing with a cell phone") into an issue of racial discrimination! She says that Capitol police should have known her (despite her radically different new hair style). Cynthia, there are 435 representatives!

What really bothers me is that her charge of racism trivializes the racism that still exists in the United States. There are still black people pulled over for no traffic violation (other than DWB). There are plenty of clueless white people who honestly believe that racial discrimination is a thing of the past. McKinney's silly playing of the race card further convinces these clueless people that they are indeed correct. Sigh.

Blog tramp?

2006-04-03T09:23:00.000-05:00

My lovely wife read yesterday's blog entry, and exclaimed, "You're just trying to get hits on your blog for anyone searching for 'Dr. Who'!" Actually, I almost didn't even write about the show for that very reason.

Don't get me wrong, hits are indeed a bit addictive. Those who stumble across this site just blog-tripping are nice, but those who find it via a real search make me feel . . . useful. This is especially true if they are searching for advice about the academic job search or single malt Scotch whisky (namely because I actually have something meaningful to SAY).

Dr. Who Redux

2006-04-02T15:26:00.000-05:00

The Doctor. Blue Box.

When I was in the ninth or tenth grade, I watched the old BBC Dr. Who program on PBS. I thought it was great, which made me a huge nerd. That's okay. I had a Dr. Who screensaver on my Apple II Plus clone (a Franklin Ace 1000) with a TARDIS that materialized as the Dr. Who theme played. I thought that was pretty cool.

Now the SciFi channel is running the new Dr. Who series (run last year on BBC). The special effects are greatly improved. I like the new Doctor (though I see the season running in the UK right now has yet ANOTHER Doctor. Anyway, I give the series a big, nerdy thumbs up!

Car repair advice

2006-03-27T09:36:00.000-06:00

You know, the internet is great for allowing word-of-mouth advertising to reach further than ever before. I've noticed a lot of hits on this blog from some pretty interesting search parameters, so I've decided to post a couple of positive experiences that I've had recently in the area of car repair in Tampa.

Last week, we noticed that the brake lights were completely out. For reasons that I'll not go into here, we thought that the problem was electrical (and not merely burned out bulbs). I took my car here:
Meineke Car Care Center at 7302 West Hillsborough Avenue.
The downside was that the mechanic took a three-hour lunch. The upside is that the owner felt so bad that he only charged me ten bucks for the diagnostic and the repair. In fact, he tried to refuse the money completely! The long wait aside, I was impressed.

Last month, I had my radiator blow. I managed to coast into a radiator shop that happened to be half a mile from where the problem occurred. I'd never even noticed the place:
Westside Radiator at 6537 West Hillsborough Avenue.
He replaced my radiator for a good price and had me on the road in a couple of hours. In fact, the job came back LOWER than the written estimate. Big thumbs up.

As I think many have discovered on their own, I avoid Just Brakes like the plague. They always seem to "find" more than is really wrong.

The Lake Wobegon effect, cont.

2006-03-26T15:50:00.000-06:00

The Major's comment is correct. We are really not teaching personal responsibility much anymore. Students expect that they will always excel. I had a student tell me last semester, "I can't understand how you gave me a B. I've never gotten a B on an English assignment in my life." I wanted to respond, "Then your teachers have had astoundingly low expectations!" Of course, I did not say that istead, I tried to explain that there was nothing wrong with her answer, it just was rather pedestrian.... As my mentor said, "An A should be a paper marked by conspicuous excellence."

Protecting kids from failure is a poor way to prepare them for life. I certainly was not protected from failure. When I was in elementary school, I rarely finished my work for the week; thus, I was unable to go outside to play on Fridays. I was held accountable. This experience did not scar me academically, obviously.

Back on the job

2006-03-25T09:56:00.000-06:00

Okay, I spent all of last week grading midterms. It made for a miserable Spring Break, but I got it all done. It's a bit frustrating dealing with disgruntled students, though. I handed back the papers this week. The grades, by and large, were pretty good. Sadly, grade inflation has reached the point that many students expect an A. I had a young man come to me, very frustrated, complaining about his C-. He said, "But I worked so hard!" I wanted to say, "Well, work harder next time. This was mediocre work at best." Instead, I tried to be encouraging. Sigh. We have created a generation afflicted by the "Lake Wobegon effect," wherein all the children are (or expect to be) above average.

The only thing that I hate about teaching...

2006-03-13T12:09:00.000-06:00

... is the grading. Today I am sitting in the living room with a HUGE stack of midterm exams. I need to get them all graded this week, since the last day to drop is coming up next week. I think that it's only fair that students have an accurate measurement of their progress before the drop deadline. I know what some of you are thinking-- "Quit blogging and get back to grading!" I will, but I DO need an occasional break.

I wish that I knew a way to evaluate the understanding of literature other than essays! This is the only time that I envy math teachers. I would love the ability to use Scantron sheets! I just don't know how to make multiple-choice literature exams. If the main objective were literal comprehension of the texts, that might be feasible, but I am going to a deeper level of learning. If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE leave a comment.

truthiness personified

2006-03-08T20:45:00.000-06:00

I've been watching The Colbert Report on Comedy Central since the day that it premiered. It's very funny. I realize that it is a parody of The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News. I've never really watched O'Reilly. I am pretty conservative (for an academic), but O'Reilly never really appealed to me. Tonight, I watched O'Reilly. It struck me that Colbert is BARELY a parody. The two shows are nearly identical! The only real difference is that Colbert seems to be joking and also that Colbert seems likeable.... Does anyone take O'Reilly serious since his phone message debacle?

Oscar reflections

2006-03-06T10:05:00.000-06:00

First of all, let me say that Chris Rock was wrong last year-- there ARE straight men who are not in show business who DO watch the Academy awards. I thought Jon Stewart did a pretty good job, though I got a bit tired of the jokes aimed at Jewish people. I thought that the opening schtick was hilarious. The film montages did get a bit out of hand, but I (for selfish reasons) loved the film noir tribute. (The URL of this blog surely reveals my love of that genre.) It was painfully clear that Lauren Bacall was having difficulty reading the teleprompter. I was disappointed that Paul Giamatti did not win (again). All in all, it was a pretty good show.

What does it look like right now in Wisconsin?

2006-03-02T21:31:00.000-06:00

The image above is courtesy of UW-Madison Soil Sciences. The problem is that (unless it's snowing) you can't see how cold it is! The low was fifteen below last week! Aaaugh!

I'm homeless....

2006-03-01T21:28:00.000-06:00

Well, sort of. I sold my house in my old hometown to my sister today. I made a nice profit, but I still got a LOT less than I could have on the open market. It kept the peace in the family, anyway. Regardless, this will allow us to have an absurdly healthy down payment on a house in Wisconsin. They tell me that the check is in the mail....

This is getting silly....

2006-02-27T18:49:00.000-06:00

They say that such things come in threes.... No, I don't buy that, but I just read that Dennis Weaver died Friday! I grew up watching reruns of Gunsmoke and current episodes of McCloud. Still, the role that will, for me, be his signature performance, is that of the Night Manager in Orson Welles' 1958 masterpiece Touch of Evil. Film critics often opine that his oddball portrayal is clearly the basis for Anthony Perkins portrayal of Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960). In the Great Beyond, I hope that Dennis gets a better room than Janet Leigh did in either film!

Requiescat In Pace

2006-02-27T13:36:00.000-06:00

You know, I realize that this blog has been about death for the last few days. I am usually a very happy person! It just seems that legitimate cultural icons have been dropping like flies of late! I'll be on the lookout for happier topics....

Not a sunny day...

2006-02-27T11:31:00.000-06:00

Everything's NOT A-okay.

Bruce Hart, best known for his "Sesame Street" lyrics, died Tuesday at his Manhattan home of lung cancer. He was 68. Here's hoping that he's on his "way to where the air is sweet."

Many blame Sesame Street for the increasingly short attention spans of American youth, but I was raised on Sesame Street. I learned my ABCs on Sesame Street. I learned good lessons about sharing and stuff on Sesame Street. I. . . Um. . . What was I talking about?

It's a Major Award!

2006-02-26T14:27:00.000-06:00

Darren McGavin, a fixture of television and film since the late 1940s, also died yesterday. I know that he's mostly known for portraying Mike Hammer in the 1950s and Carl Kolchak in the original incarnation of the t.v. series The Night Stalker, but for me he will always be "The Old Man" in the film A Christmas Story. His fishnet-clad lamp makes me laugh every time that I see it.

Nipped in the bud....

2006-02-26T14:14:00.000-06:00

I've got nothing profound to say here, but I was truly saddened to read that Don Knotts had died. Barney Fife is a true cultural icon. It's a sad day. Who can forget the one bullet in the shirt pocket? Getting arrested by Gomer Pyle ("Citizen's Arrest!")? "Nip it in the bud"? His character was an indictment of useless and stupid "by the book" bureaucracy everywhere. Goodbye, Barney. We'll miss you. Sniff....

A further comment about single malts....

2006-02-25T09:53:00.000-06:00

I noticed there was another visitor to this site from someone searching for scotch tasting notes. I do have some brief comments about ten single-malts from earlier in the month, but I want to add a few comments. If anyone is looking to me for advice about scotch, then I want to mention my favorites.

My normal scotch of choice is Laphroaig 10 Year. I bought may first bottle after seeing a billboard in the London Tube that said something along the lines of "We make one guarantee-- you will either love our product or hate it." That seemed to me to be a gutsy slogan, so I bought a bottle. It's an odd choice for one's first single-malt, since Islay malts are the strongest flavored of all the single malts-- very peaty and almost medicinal. Still, I loved it. For a celebration gift to myself last month (when I was offered the job in Wisconsin), I treated myself to a bottle of the Laphroaig 15 Year. Magic.

The other scotch that I really like is The Macallan. Because of price, I usually get the 12 year. Macallan is so smooth and silky. If Laphroaig is like a really strong Cuban maduro cigar, then Macallan is like a Macanudo. Both are wonderful, but they are very different.

The best scotch that I have ever tasted was courtesy of my best friend, The Major. The Major took me and Brigheon to dinner at Bern's. He ordered a small glass for Brigheon of The Macallan Royal Marriage, a vatting of the 1948 and 1961 vintages, bottled to commemorate the marriage of His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales, 1981. (1948 was the birth year of Charles, and 1961 was the birth year of Diana.) A bottle then cost about $100; today, it would fetch about $500. The Major is a good friend.

More musings on visits to this blog....

2006-02-22T12:30:00.000-06:00

I have been paying attention to the visits to this blog. Some are random visitors who have just stumbled across it. Some are friends. The ones that interest me the most are those who have found this blog by a google search. One person in the U.K. was looking for the phrase "dancing tomatoes" (which appears in my posting about the Super Bowl advertisements). Another was looking for advice for academic job interviews. Another was looking for tasting notes for Edradour 10 year. It's very cool that I have been blogging about things that interest others (though I wonder about people interested in dancing produce). I just wish that more people would leave comments....

Espana, look out!

2006-02-20T18:27:00.000-06:00

We are going to an academic conference in Spain this summer. Today, we went to the AAA office to plan our post-conference travels. The conference is in Malaga and Ronda (mostly Ronda). We had planned to run over to Italy for a week, since Brigheon has never been to Italy. (Actually, she's never been to Europe, but Italy was of special interest.) We assumed that a shuttle flight to Rome would be cheap. We were wrong.

We decided to travel around southern Spain (Andalucia) and fly out of Lisbon, Portugal. We will literally save thousands of dollars and will save Italy for another trip. Anyway, we will spend a day in Madrid, a day in Malaga, four days in Ronda, a few days each in Cordoba, Seville, Granada, and Lisbon. It'll be a heck of a trip. We are pretty psyched!

The arrogance of academia....

2006-02-19T14:42:00.000-06:00

Today, Brigheon and I visited a church that we had only gone to one other time (three weeks ago). We have felt more welcome and at home there than any other church that we have attended in Tampa. It's a shame that we found this church only five months before we are leaving.

Anyway, the musical director wanted to introduce me to a professor whom I did not know. He ran over during the exchange of the peace (where people greet one another), and said to the other professor, "I want you to meet the man sitting right behind you. He is at your university also!" She must have assumed that I was a student (which is funny, since I am in my late thirties). She said, "Hello. My name is Dr. Ellgood. But you can call me Jean." I replied, "It's nice to meet you. My name is Dr. Generalist. But you can call me Flex." (Obviously, these are not our real names.) She seemed a bit embarrassed to have taken such a condescending tone. I told my wife afterwards that if I EVER introduced myself to a non-student as "Dr. Generalist" that she should whack me!

A picture to prove miracles.

2006-02-18T22:01:00.000-06:00

Miracles DO happen!

2006-02-18T19:06:00.000-06:00

My lovely wife, Brigheon, is cooking me dinner! This is a miracle because I do the cooking. She never learned, though she has decided that she wants to learn. She asked my parents for a subscription to Cook's Illustrated for Christmas. Tonight, we are having a home-made marinara sauce with angel hair pasta. It smells really good. Oops. I just heard a distressed "Oh, man!" from the kitchen. I'd better run and make sure that there are no fires (literal or figurative) to be put out....

"I grow old..."

2006-02-17T09:33:00.000-06:00

This week, I covered several poems of T. S. Eliot in my classes. I really like Eliot, but it's tough to teach his poetry to undergrads. If a poet is (in part) trying to capture the impossibility of stable meaning in modern society, then his or her poetry must also lack stable meaning. Convincing students that confusion can be thematic (that is, part of the point) is tough; most readers (understandably) find confusion frustrating.

The title of this blog entry is a quote from Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." That poem is gaining meaning for me, now that I am (presumably) Prufrock's age. I don't think that I am as pathetically indecisive as he is, nor do I have a "a bald spot in the middle of my hair." Still, the poem speaks to my situation more than it ever did before. Sigh.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T12:50:00.000-06:00

It is a fascinating thing to observe the attitudes of college students on Valentine's Day. They either love the day and despise it. This mostly seems to do with the status of their love life. I tell them (and particularly the males) that Valentine's Day is very much a "Hallmark holiday," but that they are fools if they do not embrace it fully; even if they think it a capitalist ploy (and even if their sweeties say that they concur), it's safest to play along.

I teach tonight until 9:00 p.m. Thus, I thought ahead. Yesterday, my wonderful wife got home to find a note on the door which read "Since I teach tomorrow evening, I have bribed the day manager down at the Office of Temporal Ordinance; open the door and step 24 hours into the future." I was inside (wearing a nice suit and tie) with flowers and a pair of earrings for Brigheon, romantic music playing, a nice dinner that I was preparing, champagne chilling, fresh strawberries just rinsed, and chocolate melting. Anyway, we had a lovely romantic evening.

I hope that you have a lovely Valentine's Day, regardless of whether you buy into the whole thing or not.

Mystery reader....

2006-02-13T09:02:00.000-06:00

As I observed the other day, I realize that most hits that I get to the blog are within a few minutes for posting a new entry. I suppose that most of them are (misunderstanding my blog's title) looking for some bendy nubile. My wife reads it and a few friends read it. I've not been around long enough to have picked up many readers. There is, however, someone in Winter Haven who has registered several hits. This is very cool, but I DO wish that he or she would leave a comment on some post; I am curious what there is here that compels this person to return.

Not the best hunting buddy....

2006-02-12T16:39:00.000-06:00

Dick Cheney accidentally shot one of his hunting companions today, according to CNN. Jon Stewart, Jay Leno, Stephen Colbert, etc., are going to have a field day with this one, though such jokes are surely examples of gilding the lilly-- some stories don't need a punch line....

Make a little birdhouse in your soul....

2006-02-12T10:22:00.000-06:00

Another nice shot from our recent trip to Old Salem, North Carolina.

Click on the image for an enlarged view.

(Bonus points to whomever can identify the pop culture reference in the title of this blog entry. Brigheon is disqualified, since I told her already.)

Where's the love?

2006-02-12T09:15:00.000-06:00

I read a New York Times article in today's paper that told of the lack of corporate sponsors for this year's Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Click here the article. Only Glad Products has stepped up in any meaningful way! I'm a big fan of generic and store brands (namely 'cause I'm cheap), but I will make a point of buying Glad trash bags from now on.

Still, I just don't get it. In sports, it seems that everything is sponsored. The Sugar Bowl patch on my FSU jersey has the Nokia logo in a font larger than the name of the bowl game. Where is Nokia? Or Tostitos? Or FedEx? New Orleans was even offering naming rights! No beer or liquor company saw the gold mine of publicity in this? Come on, "Captain Morgan's Mardi Gras" would be a slam dunk. We Americans have such a short attention span.

On a lighter note, I can't believe that I blogged about a NOLA issue prior to Doctor Daisy....

Are the Village People in the Olympic Village?

2006-02-11T12:48:00.000-06:00

Is it just me, or did anyone else find it surreal and bizarre that the nations of the world marched into the Olympic stadium the the sounds of mostly American disco and pop from the '70s and '80s? Somehow, a small contingent of athletes from a far-Eastern Muslim nation making its entrance to the sounds of "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor, just doesn't quite work... or maybe it is a perfect "moment of Zen."

On the other hand, perhaps I am the only person in America that stayed up to watch the opening ceremonies. Did anyone else?

Viva La Frida es muerto!

2006-02-10T09:07:00.000-06:00

Okay, so perhaps Viva La Frida is crying out, "I'm not dead yet!" Regardless, I am in mourning. I read in this morning's newspaper that Viva La Frida (the artsy cafe of which I blogged last week) is closing sometime this summer. You can read the article here, at least for a few days. True, we are leaving for the frozen fields of Wisconsin this summer, but I hate to see a unique place close. Doctor Daisy, we need to make a few last sangria runs.... Sniff.